“I might have broken a bone, but let’s carry on with the pub crawl.”

Being taller than the majority of men, let alone women, I only wear heels for comedy or shock value. On the rare occasions the courage is plucked up to don them on a night out (or God forbid in the daylight!), I make my friends look like children being led through the streets by an…

Imitating Iggy and chopping up faeces

Parents are meant to embarrass you when you’re growing up, it’s a perk of having children that I intend to take full advantage of if I reproduce. My mother was no exception to this rule and I don’t blame her. I’d find it bloody hilarious to make my child turn burgundy with shame as I…

Cat shot put – the traditional hen do celebratory game

Sorry to offend any of you crazy cat ladies and gentlemen, but I make no secret of my serious aversion to felines. I just don’t trust the shifty characters, their nonchalance has always made me feel deeply uneasy. They look like they couldn’t give a shit about anyone but themselves, the selfish bastards. Reliable dogs,…